The Crazy House

Jul 25

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself -

sisterhimalaya:

elige:

vogueltalia:

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

fuckin raw

Reality

uhmm guys my bullshit meter is going off… someone show me the original news source for this because to me it sounds like something someone on tumblr made up.

You’re right, it’s fake

Let’s hear it for morons taking comedy news sites for gospel *slow clap* 

durpacerangerrogjro:

IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE I SAW THIS POST I’M SO HAPPY

durpacerangerrogjro:

IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE I SAW THIS POST I’M SO HAPPY

(Source: trashcanghost, via followmetoyourdoom)

luminoxxie:

luminoxxie:

luminoxxie:

Why are there no pizza places open at 8am?

What the fuck.

This is America. 

I have all this money that I worked my ass off for. I am WAY more than willing to throw it all away, right this second, on ridiculous amounts of pizza.

There need to be pizza places open this early for people who make poor life decisions. >:(

7-11 SELLS PIZZA THIS EARLY YOU GUYS. THE DAY IS SAVED BY A GAS STATION. I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT ABOVE EATING GAS STATION PIZZA. 

I HAVE OBTAINED THE PIZZA.

GOD BLESS AMERICA. 

I don’t know whether to be disgusted or impressed 

luminoxxie:

Why are there no pizza places open at 8am?

What the fuck.

This is America. 

I have all this money that I worked my ass off for. I am WAY more than willing to throw it all away, right this second, on ridiculous amounts of pizza.

There need to be pizza places open this early for people who make poor life decisions. >:(

There’s an old pizza box in the kitchen you can sniff

luminoxxie:

ectolime:

clay-phoenix:

leo-arcana:

lil-weezing:

ask-flameprince:

ask-alex-the-vampire-princess:

arthur-christmas-claus:

auspisstice:

ferlmao:

himapapaftw:

blackmormon:

i think Paulina from danny phantom is the older Trixie tang

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I wouldn’t be surprised

Woah woah woah, that means

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whA T

HEADCANON ACCEPTED

Can we please not forget about this? 

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Wait then what if

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i cannot accept this

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WHAT THE FRICK IS GOING ON

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friends forever

what the FUCK 

In a sad attempt to get my sleep schedule on track, I downed 2 5-hour energy drinks in the hopes of staying up through the night. 

This was without a doubt the WORST mistake I could have made.

NEVER. AGAIN. 

I felt 0 energy from this nasty shit while my body grew more and more exhausted until I finally decided to admit defeat and get some shut eye. 

That’s when I realized what was happening.

I snuggled down into my blankets where I instantly grew comfortable and my heavy eye lids greedily closed. And…. nothing. My mind has never been so awake. Racing a million miles an hour while my tired vessel fell limp in total exhaustion. 

I laid there in a semi-sleep paralysis state, only able to wiggle my hands and feet with my mind racing FOR 3 HOURS.

So began the longest night of my life. Seriously, I could feel every second pass and do nothing but lay there.

tick………………………………..tock……………………………tick

It was torture.

Then finally. FINALLY I fell asleep into a horrible lucid nightmare that seemed to last for an eternity. When I finally managed to escape the dream and wake up I was so relived that the night was over. 

Until I checked the clock.

I had been asleep for one hour.

ONE. HOUR.

In short, I will never take 5-hour energy ever again. It’s not an energy drink, it’s a sleep paralysis inducing liquid hell.

(via lunarforestnymph)

Jul 24

Am I the only one who is 100% all for Sherlock being asexual? 

How is the sun still up??? It’s almost fucking 9PM

sixpenceee:

oh my god

Me as a parent

sixpenceee:

oh my god

Me as a parent